literature

Invader Zim: Nine Days - Day 1

Deviation Actions

CivilianSatellite's avatar
Published:
3.7K Views

Literature Text

Invader Zim: Nine Days
Day 1


"Invader Skoo. Please report."

Tallest Red and Tallest Purple were in no mood for waiting around today, but when have they been in the mood for waiting at all? With an entire armada on hold to invade Planet Thooth, it can be safe to say that these Irken elites were – irked.

"Invader Skoo," Tallest Red continued. "You were scheduled to have Planet Thooth conquered ten days ago."

"Why isn't he answering?" whined Tallest Purple.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Tallest Red answered. "Keep sending out call signals, he has to respond to his Tallest."

The monitor in front of the Irken leaders remained static for quite a time, but the signal was reaching the planet's surface without any trouble. Suddenly, there was a response. The screen displayed the Irken invader who looked none-too-thrilled to see his leaders. With a look of terror upon his face, he timidly greeted his Tallest.

"Yes sirs?" He squeaked.

"Ah, there you are!" Red replied. "Where were you?"

"I was…uh…thinging….do's?"

"Thinging do's?" Purple joined in.

"So that means you weren't conquering a planet!" Red responded.

The terrified invader tried defending his position. "No…I mean yes! I was doing invader stuff, but-…I mean, the Thoothians were….PLEASE!! I need more time! Give me another year and this planet will be ready for conquest!"

Tallest Red shook his head. "I'm sorry Invader Skoo, but you know the rules. Once a date of invasion is set, it must be met. I'd love to grant you another year-"

"Mm-hmm," Tallest Purple added.

"But we have other planets that are running on schedule that we need to take over. So I'm going to ask you a simple question and you are to respond with 'yes' or 'no.' Is Planet Thooth ready for conquest?"

Invader Skoo stood in silence for a moment, his eyes ready to burst into tears. "It will be ready! I just-"

"Uh-uh-uh!" Red interrupted. "Yes……………………………………………or no?"


"No."

Both Tallest leaders gave each other a look, nodded and faced Skoo. A shade of evil covered their face.

"Oh, that's too bad, Skoo. You knew the consequences of tardiness," said Red.

"NO!" Skoo screamed. "Not another torching! Please, no more torching!"

Red continued, "Under the contract you signed at the academy, it read that 'All invaders who do not meet the chronological schedule are subject to painful torching to which the degree is set by the amount of time wasted.'"

Purple joined in, "Sorry Skoo, I don't write the rules, but I have to- oh wait…I do write the rules. Sorry Skoo. But at least we're putting the torch to work! I thought that it was a stupid purchase."

"NOOO!!!" Screamed Skoo as the transmission was cut. The Tallest then lay back in their seats, obviously disappointed. Planet Thooth would have been an important addition to the growing empire, but it was obvious that it would not be up for conquering any time soon.

"So, now what?" Purple asked. "We were supposed to have conquered the planet ten days ago. We lost a great deal of time!"

"There's nothing we can do," Red responded. "We're so far behind schedule that conquering the next planet would be delayed."

"Which planet is next?"

"Uh, Invader Yoogli's planet. Whachamacallit."

"And when is the armada scheduled to invade?"
Tallest Red brought the schedule onto the screen. "According to this, in six months."

Tallest Purple leapt out of his seat. "Six months!?! Are you kidding? We need something to do 'til then!"

Red looked back at his partner. "You're right. If we are idle for that long a period, we could be caught off guard. So much could happen if we don't keep moving!"

An awkward silence captivated the control room of the Massive. The ship made a graceful U-turn as it headed away from Planet Thooth and headed for Planet Irk. The pilots of the mission began to file a report on the planet, listing its conquest as a 'failure.' The many pilots operated in silence, any noise would cause an uneven disturbance to the already ticked off Tallest. Suddenly, a button started flashing in front of one of the pilots. Caught off guard, he didn't want to be the one to break the silence. He looked at one of his co-pilots for help. Silently, she gestured for the pilot to tell the Tallest. The two began to bicker back and forth until their gesturing turned into physical attacks on each other. Though not too violent, the squabble sent a tin plate of snacks crashing loudly onto the ground. All eyes went on the two pilots, including the Tallest.

"Is there anything you would like to say?" Tallest Purple asked.

"Um," the pilot began. "There is an incoming message from a…Planet Sponge."
Tallest Red stood up. "Planet Sponge? We haven't heard from them in ages. We're not even interested in their planet. It's too far away. Answer the signal."

The screen turned on and the Tallest were met by a red, short, and stout alien wearing a ridiculously decorated crown. He was in tears and had a long line of his subject next to him, each one holding a tissue box. The alien leader tried speaking, but he could not stop bawling. The Tallest looked at each other and back at the hysterical alien. Red decided to be the first to speak.

"Ahem. You signaled us, sir?"

"Oh," the leader managed to spit out. "It's horrible! All this waiting, the suspense! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO INVADE US!?!"

Purple butted in, "Sir, we have no intention to-"

"I've been going into MADNESS! All this waiting and- It's so painful! I have to know when you are coming! It's going to tear me apart unless I KNOW!"
Purple looked at Red. He shrugged and took over the conversation. "Look pal, even if we were going to try to invade, we wouldn't tell you. Besides, we-"
The Sponge leader then started bawling even louder than before. Suddenly, Red lost his patience.
"Oh my g- SHUT UP! We have no interest in your stupid planet! It's too far and there's nothing that would benefit us if we send an invader! Do you understand?"
The alien snorted and stifled. He wiped his face with the last tissue of the alien standing in line. The floor tile he was standing on then promptly threw him out the window. His screaming terror did not faze the leader who continued to blubber out words.

"I can offer you a peace treaty."
Red tossed his arms in the air and turned away from the screen. Purple rolled his eyeballs. The leader continued.

"Yes! That's it! WE SURRENDER! You can take over our planet. Control it. Do whatever it takes to make this suspense end! In return, we'll give you an endless supply of our resources! Sponges, sponge balls, sponge vehicles, sponge weapons, sponge-"

"I'm sorry," Purple interrupted. "But all of those things you just said sound stupid. You can now rest easy knowing that we are not going to invade your planet."

"Wait!" The Sponge leader blurted out. "There's one more thing. Recently, our scientists have been researching into a resource that might be of your interest. It's still a work in progress, but it may very well turn into the greatest invention the SPONGE DISTRICTS HAVE EVER MADE!"

Both Red and Purple were unimpressed, but looked back at the leader just to hear what more babble comes out.

"We are working on the universe's most enjoyable……SPONGE CAKE!!"
Suddenly, both Red and Purple were paying attention as concept art of the pastry filled the entire screen. It looked like the perfect snack. Suddenly, the Tallest were captivated by the idea of holding the most popular eatery planet in the galaxy. Besides, the conquering of Planet Sponge would open up a new path to conquering more planets beyond. With a quick glance at each other, the Tallest decided then and there to create a mission to conquer Planet Sponge.

"You got us, sir," Tallest Red answered. "Your terms satisfy our conditions and we can now ensure the safe conquest of your planet. We will be over as soon as possible."

"Oh! Thank you," the Sponge leader rejoiced. "I can now rest easy knowing that a powerful race is set on destroying my……wait a minute."

The transmission ended.


"WHOOO!!" The Tallest Leaders celebrated simultaneously.

"We will never have a snack shortage ever again!" Yelled Purple.
The two danced and cheered. They had solved their time crisis and will be getting free sponge cakes for the rest of their lives. However, their celebration was short lived when one of the pilots spoke up.

"Uh…sirs," she timidly began. The Tallest did not notice her; they continued what they called their "snack dance."

"My Tallest, I'm afraid I have some bad news."
Suddenly, the Tallest stopped in their tracks. Giving each other a slight glance, they then turned their attention to the pilot.

"What could possibly be wrong with a planet loaded with free snacks? It's a give-away!" Purple rebutted.

The nervous pilot then stated her case. "The distance from Planet Irk to Planet Sponge…it's a one year trip non-stop."

The Tallest's mouths dropped. In order for the conquering of Planet Sponge to be a success, Irken citizens need to be able to travel to the conquered planets. A one year trip would deter any citizens from going.

"How long would the trip be with the warp drives?" Red asked.
The pilot started typing numbers into the computer and responded, "With the warp drive on a standard citizen's vehicle, twenty-two days. With the technology of the armada, eighteen days."

"Would you travel eighteen days for free snacks?" Red asked Purple.

Purple responded with a sharp, "Of course I would…..but, I don't know if the average Irken shorter-than-us would."

The two collapsed into their seats and stared hopelessly at the map displayed on the screen. There was a clear image of Planet Sponge. It was enormous, much bigger than Planet Irk. They had the planet in their grasp, but now it was gone. GONE! Purple snorted in dissatisfaction and was about to turn off the screen. Suddenly, Red pushed him back into his seat.

"Wait a minute!" He yelled. He floated up to the screen to take a closer look. "What's that?"

He pointed to a small group of matter that hardly took up any space on the map. They fell exactly in the middle of the path from Irk to Sponge. The pilot entered the coordinates into the computer and the screen zoomed in on the collection.

"The computer says, 'The Milky Way Galaxy. A collection of nine…excuse me…eight planets and one star.' They have four gas planets, four solid planets, and one rock that is somewhere in between planet size and asteroid sized."

Red admired the little galaxy. "Look at those little planets! They're so close to their sun, life there must be very pleasant. Are there any planets to conquer?"

The pilot responded, "One planet has life forms, the others have no inhabitants."

Red's eyes glimmered with hope and possibility. "That's a steal! We can just walk onto those planets and turn them into rest stops. The trip to Planet Sponge will seem to cut in half. It's just two nine day trips!"

Purple started to catch onto the idea. "This is brilliant. And more planets will increase the size of the Irken Empire! Even if they are small planets!"

"We just need to take over that one planet," Red murmured. "Alright, let's get an invader onto that one inhabited planet. Pilot, what is that planet called?"

The pilot typed some more and then stopped. Her hands froze above the keyboard and she remained stiff.

"Pilot," Red chastised. "I asked you a question!"

The pilot rose to attention. "Forgive me my Tallest. The planet is called, 'Earth.'"
Red and Purple stared at the pilot. She then became too uncomfortable to stand and immediately resumed her work. Red let out a sigh and was about to put the idea to rest. Suddenly, it was Purple's turn to stop Red.

"Now wait a minute," he answered. "Now we know that Zim is there,…but we never actually took the time to figure out what the planet has to offer."

Purple went over to his control panel. "Computer, locate the video files Zim sent us and show me the ones that Zim does not speak, or show up in."

"Analyzing," said the computer. "Two-hundred fifty-four thousand, six-hundred ninety-eight files found that were sent by Zim. Nine-thousand eighty-eight video files found. Zero videos found with no trace of Zim."

The tallest glanced at each other before Red chimed in. "Any videos with just a little Zim?"

"Analyzing," the computer reported again. "One video found containing three percent Zim."

"Computer, play file," said Purple.


The video began with a bunch of static, followed by a close-up of Zim's face.
"My Tallest! The humans are broadcasting a video on the Recovery Channel called 'This is EARTH'! Since I don't have time to show every little piece of this planet, courtesy of ZIM, I will use the human's entertainment network to expose their planet for the FILTH that it is. I'm just going to leave this camera here and hope that Gir doesn't change the channel."

Off-screen, Gir screamed, "WHERE'S THE REMOTE!!"


The tallest watched the hour long program with great fascination. The show featured the planet's natural beauty and cities. They were impressed on how they had used the planet to escape from their problem (Zim) and never took the time to take in where he was living. By the time the video was over, the Tallest knew that Earth would be right for conquest. Its natural beauty far exceeded those of the planets in the Irken Empire.

"I've got it all figured out," Purple said to Red. "Those four solid planets will all be rest stops for the journey to Planet Sponge. But, that Earth planet will be turned into a luxury rest stop! Travelers will want to spend their monies just to spend an evening or two at…Hotel Earth!"

"But what about Zim?" Red asked. "He'll ruin the planet the moment we tell him to conquer it. Also, the 'Invader' contract states that a substantial amount of power will be granted to the Invader who successfully cripples a conquered planet. Can you imagine Zim running a luxury hotel business? He'd blow up the customers! And the staff!"

Tallest Purple sat back in his chair and began thinking. Jumping from idea to idea, he tried to think up the perfect method of conquering. He couldn't let Zim conquer the planet only to have it ruled by somebody else. He knows all too well that Zim is a fighter and will claim that he successfully conquered Earth and deserves leadership. While the planet seems like an easy conquer, Irken rules of war state that all planets being conquered must have an Invader present. Despite Zim being a defective Irken, it would be too late to send a new Invader to Earth. Also, both of the Tallest are aware that Zim trusts his leaders. If they tried to destroy him and failed, he would lose that trust and the Tallest will lose their planet. Purple had to think of the perfect scheme to combine all of these measures into one fool-proof plan. Suddenly, it came to him.

"I got it!" Yelled Red.

"I- Oh, sorry," replied Purple.

"No, go ahead."

"Oh, please. You spoke first."

"Yes, but I think-"

"No, no. It's all you. Go for it.

"Alright," replied Red. "So, we tell Zim to prepare the planet for conquest. He'll do whatever he wants to prepare the planet. If he doesn't succeed, our armada can wipe out that puny little population. Once the planet is under our control, we 'accidentally' get rid of Zim. We clean up his mess, restore the planet, and then open for business with a brand new Invader taking over where Zim left off."

"That sounds like it could work, but Zim trusts us. What happens if our attempt to get rid of him fails?" Purple responded.

"Well," said Red. "We make it look like an accident. We abandon the Massive and pilot it directly on top of Zim."

Purple was horrified. "Crash the Massive? What, are you crazy!?! This ship is the centerpiece of the armada! If we destroy this, we lose the element of intimidation!"

"I knew you'd bring that up," Red replied. "Come here, I was saving this for your birthday next month, but I think now would be the best time to unveil it."

Red brought Purple to the window as they approached Planet Irk. Just outside was an enormous hangar. With its door open, the hangar displayed a formidable display of technology and power. A ship was stored in there. Brand new, it was bigger than the Massive and purposely showed off the latest in speed and weapons technology. Purple's eyes grew wide and a drooly smile took over his face.

Red returned the smile. "I'd like you to meet….The Humongous!"



After staring at the brand new ship all he could, Purple finally brought his attention back to the subject of Earth.

"So, I suppose we should contact Zim and tell him about our intentions," Purple stated.

"I suppose we should," Red answered. "The next few days are going to be really annoying, I can tell."

"Who knows," Purple replied. "He could get so caught up in invading that he forgets to update us. Then we never have to listen to him again since we're going to destroy him anyway."

"Yeah, but there are a lot of 'ifs' in that statement," said Red.

"I…don't think I said 'if' once."

"Whatever, you know what I mean." Red reached for the button to send a signal to Zim. "Well, I guess we ought to contact Zim now, seeing as-"

"Yes?" Zim suddenly appeared on the screen, startling everyone in the room. Zim's overconfident smile suddenly turned to confusion as he watched his leaders and pilots pick themselves up.

"You called?" Asked Zim.

"I just pushed the button!" Red complained. "You answered not even one second after I sent the signal, have you been standing-"

Zim looked at Red with a confused look. It wasn't often that the Massive contacts him and he hoped he didn't upset his leaders.

"Listen, Zim," Purple started. "About the date of the armada's arrival to Earth-"

"Yes!" Zim interrupted. "You haven't talked to me about it, even though I've heard that other invaders got their dates a long time ago."

Purple paused, he didn't like being interrupted. "Well anyway, we've contacted you to inform you that we are bringing the armada for imminent conquest in nine days."

"Nine days?" Zim asked. A look of excitement grew in his eyes.

"Yes Zim," Red joined in. "Nine days."

"You will be coming to witness my progress in nine days?" Zim continued.

Purple looked at Red, "I'm pretty sure we've established that already. Zim, are you crying?"

Zim sniffled as he faced away from his leaders. "Gir, come in here."
Suddenly, little pieces Gir came from all directions and formed a pile of scraps in the middle of the floor. Then, like a series of magnets, Gir formed together into his red-eyed robot self.

"You require my presence, sir?" Gir asked.

"Gir," Zim began. "This is the moment we've been waiting for! Our mission's purpose is within view!!"

"YAAAAY!!!" Gir cheered. The top of his head then opened up and confetti was accelerated out. The Tallest just stared at each other. Doubt and hopelessness began filling their heads, but they wouldn't let those thoughts get to them.

"Anyway," Red started. "If you need anything from us, please hesitate to ask. Your mission should be clear. Have the planet ready to conquer, just try not to destroy all matters of life on the planet."

"Don't you worry, my Tallest," Zim added. "If the planet isn't perfectly ready, then you may as well call me unfit for conquering and wipe me from existence. But since I'm obviously the best at what I do, you don't have to labor yourselves with such thoughts. Earth will be conquered and its people will be DOOMED!! AH HAHAHAHAHA!!"

The transmission cut after that.


The Tallest stood in silence for a moment.

"You….having any regrets?" Asked Tallest Red.

Tallest Purple harshly replied, "Don't say that! Don't say that! If you start talking about stuff like that then I might just choose common sense over snacks!"
Chapter 1 of my 10 chapter Invader Zim fanfic.

Chapter 2 coming December 30th.

Just a disclaimer, this take on Invader Zim is slightly more serious than the original series. If this bothers you, turn back now. However, I will still be incorporating plenty of humorous moments as it is in the characters' natures.

In this chapter, the Tallest finally see a use for Earth and are now giving Zim serious tasks.

Day 2 --> [link]

Invader Zim and characters by Jhonen Vasquez
Picture courtesy of :iconvixiereynard:
© 2010 - 2024 CivilianSatellite
Comments3
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
SimplyBrillig's avatar
This peaks my interest! I shall read more!!!!